ITS A DIRTY JOB

Its a dirty job

Hola, well its been a busy few days, its quite amazing just how much can happen in one mans life?

The main reason for me blogin is it cover the gigs I do, what there like what the people are like and how punters like me ie lookalikes are greeted and treated?

So ill stick to that before I go into what else has happened.

Saturday evening i was in a place called lower basildon, about 15 minutes outside of Reading.

And very nice it was as well, this show was re arranged from january, remember there was a little white rain and GREAT Britain slid to a halt !!!!!!!!.

The venue was a barn, not any old barn, it's a magnificent 400 square meter oasis, absolutley beautiful. I arrived around 5pm it took forever, the usual shit on the roads, plus the added joy of a diversion, the nuts in charge thought it would be a good idea to do roadworks on the roundabout and junction that joins the A14 to the M11 on a Saturday ? fucking idiots,

3 hours later i rejoined the M11 4 miles further down, the diverted route had major roadworks!!!!!!!! Only in England…….?

So there I was in aladins cave, the lovely odors of the obviously very expensive gormet dinner to be filled the room, to bad they forgot about the band the dj and myself evil gits. 5 hours I sat upstairs , i was a surprise so had to hide?behind the dj watching the food go and go and go, no water coke cofee and no bloody food nada,……..

So id driven 7 hours did a sound check and sat in a corner like little jack chuffin horner, hungry thirsty tired painful in my neck and head from the smash the week before, knowing id have a long drive home, but still it was a nice venue, well paid and i was on stage at 10pm, er forget that, now if there is one thing that really pisses me off, its when people are disrespectfull to other peoples time?

Im booked to go on stage at 10pm I go on stage at 10pm, not 10,30, not 11,00 and definatley not 11.45pm the ignorant shits!!!!!!!.

If you have had a year to plan a 50th birthday you have a running plan there are no excuses, only one explanation, You dont give a danm about other peoples time?

I suppose if you owned 30 odd race horses, youve got LOADS OF MONEY, your time is all that matters?

I dont get phased by wealth, stars silicon, quite the opposite , when you have seen performed for and met so many famous and rich people its just another day at the office.

But I wasnt a happy camper, sat in my corner listning to speach after drawn out speach toast cig break, cigar break, shit break, god knows whatever else break, finally at 11.45 pm without any warning ladies and gemtlemen we have a special guest please welcome on stage Rod Stewart, SILENCE!!!!!!!! the problem was nobody had told the guy from the band whos PA I was hooked into it was time, he was outside having a fag.

The inpact was lost I wasnt to happy at all, still i did the job got them all on there feet

Did 45 minutes and took off.

What a shame, what a real shame that some very wealthy people believe they have the right to abuse somebody elses time, Im paying you, so I own you until im done with you, arrogant twat

Apparentley nobody has ever talked to the chap whos do it was the way i did EVER!!!!!!!!!!

All I said was u can fuck right off when he asked me if i would do another set, free of charge

Thats why they have money and we dont

No doubt there will be the cynics out there who think im a blown up obnknoxius cabaret singer who should be grateful for work? Well they can fuck off as well. I bet the same chap would be bang on time if it meant he was going to make money instead of pay money?.

Well anyway I drove back to doncaster had a few hours kip packed me and the kids up and got the 7am flight on Monday morning out of manc airport to Copenhagen

And yes the only flight delayed easyjet to copenhagen, the reason no pilot, out of 17 flights in dec/jan/feb one has been on time? You get what you pay for they say, well at 220 quid for me a 5 and 3 yr old I expect a little more, It used to be fun flying now it's a pain in the asre, litterally!!!!!!!!

Ive got metal pins holding me together they always beep and I suppose i look like a taliban suicide bomber???? So I got the internal exam say no more.

Hospitals Home & away

After a crash I dont suppose its not right clever to fly? But at the hospital in Doncaster they said no problem, it was on the decent my head exploded, Being a geezer and having my kids with me I put a brave face on thinking it would pass over, it didnt, I finally decided to go back to hospital last night when in the throws of passion with the missis I lost the vision in my right eye which to be honest wasnt such a bad thing!!!!!!! Then a monster of an headache gripped me, ive still got the headache and a cyclpose memory of her in doors,

The difference between the hospital personel and service in England and Sweden is day and night, i was strapped down x rayed kicked out in 4 hours in the UK, the hospital was dirty the personel verging on rude and not very bothered. Hence the need to go top hospital in Sweden.

One of the first questions i was asked in Sweden was if I had injections blood tests in the UK? What a strange question I thought, apparentley had they stuck needles in me in England they would have put me in issolation in Sweden the risk for speading bacteria would have been so high, so much for Gordan Browns promise of cleaning up the NHS.

Ive had blood tests a Kat scan nervous system check there holding me for obsevation then in the morning ill be seeing an eye specilist, free of charge , they will find out whats wrong with my head, very very detailed the Swedes, very very nice and very very clean and its all on the swedish NHS,

Tak sverige.

So now Im at home, the kids in bed and the knowledge that my head itsnt going to explode, there is no more brin damage than 2 weeks ago and when I have a bit of in and out ill do a Stevie Wonder

Until next time

Be lucky

Rud