volcanic ash

What can you say, all the sad tails of stranded people, governments in a panic, Brown and co clueless as usual, I do think there all over reacting,

Still I had a right trip, I was sat up thursday evening/friday morning chcking the easyshite website hoping my flight would still go, of course it didnt, So at 7am friday morning I decided to drive to the UK, I had a gig on saturday evening at North Notts Arena, I dont miss gigs simple as that,

I posted on Facebook I was off on a road trip, an old friend Jennie mailed me Im off to brugge to meet my boyfriend, Great I had company off we went, Im my partners mazda 2, its new but 1700 kilometers in a mazda 2 LONG WAY.

Thanks to Jennie flashin a bit of flesh we got the boat between denmark and Germany, we were the last car on, well done jennie, I had a 25 euro steak that was like rubber, still we were on our way, I thought id be cute and not fill in in denmark, sometimes im a right muppet, 1.56 euro a fuckin liter in krautland , but there coffee is very nice, we drove and drove road work after road work, monster traffic jams, more nice kraut coffee bog stops to empty the coffee, Jennie had a drive wheres the shift stick?????????

We drove through Europe amazingly only getting diverted once we didnt have a sat nav, so wel done again jennie, After 14 hours we made Brugge and jenie met her man, lovely.

I stopped at a service station and picked a bloke called steve up, sat with a teddy bear,and a sign my daughters 3 tomorrow England please, jump in mate, a few kilpmeters later I splattered bambi, sorry kids, smashed the front end yippie,

Now if your going to Dunkirk allow a day to find the FUCKING FERRY TEMINAL, not easy, I got there at 1am 17 hours non stop driving, picked up another bloke sat on his briefcase, he wasnt allowed on the boat as a foot passenger, jump in mate,

The boat when it left was packed, strangely enough with POLLACKS, and of course people tryin to get home.

I tried to kip on a bench no joy, on the floor no joy, By this time I was knackered, but I could not help feeling sorry for the families stuck in limbo, it was hard enough for me and 1000s of other people but to be stuck with small kids what a nightmare.

4.30am i landed in England, I had to go to Romford to pick up my PA system from the gig the weekend before, sadly if id left it in the car at stansted airport I dont think it would have still been there?

I pulled up at 7,15 am outside henderssons, reclined the seat and had a kip.

9am i woke up with cramp,

10am I was on my way

14.00 pm i got pulled on the A1 by a right power mad little prick , do you know you were doing 55 mph on a 50 mph part of the motorway sir?. No was my simple reply, Cant you read, FUCK OFF was my reply, the mazda doesnt have mph only Kph.

I tried to calculate got it wrong,

Then the little shit said, I stopped you because we noticed you light was cracked, yes I said I hit a Deer, He was not amused so off it kicked, i went on to tell him the story of my travel my good deeps of the day, he gave me a ticket, what a twat.

So finally i arrived at the venue, 33 hours after leaving sweden, the journey cost 1100 quid in total, I did the show and blew them away. one of he best ive done in many a year,

Te chap who does all the bookings went on stage after I had finished and told the packed arena my story, he added we are putting a blue bucket at the exit, if you feel like contributing to Ruds massive travel expenses feel free,

So after wrecking the car wrecking myself helping 3 people get to there final destinations, killing Bambi and blowin 1100 quid,on a 1700 kilometer drive through 5 countries just so I didnt let people down,

What do you think the crowd who I must add were great and couldnt get enough of my show donated to my travel costs ?

7 fucking quid, and they say kindness isnt dead?